The crowd chants your name as the opening act finishes up its set. They don't care about that band. They wouldn't waste the butane in their Bics for that bunch of nobodies. They don't have anyone nearly as talented as you: Joe Rockstar, the man with an axe to grind.

You're the one everyone waited in line to get tickets to see. The one they spent their last seventy bucks on for nosebleed seats. You're on that thirty-dollar souvenir T-shirt. Your name is on the bumper stickers of every car that paid twelve dollars to get into the lot. You're practically their religion.

This ain't exactly open mic night Hungry Alligator Pub and Grill. (Source)

When you sing, they sing right along with you. You're their fantasy. Half want to date you and the other half want to be you.

Just try not to wake up.

You're still in Algebra I, trying to decipher quadratic equations. Womp womp.

You figure you might as well bail, 'cause so what you're gonna be a rock star, right? You don't need no stinkin' order of operations.

Well, think again. You might not want to turn in your hairbrush for a golden mic just yet 'cause the rock star biz ain't what it used to be.

Violent Soho's guitarist pointed out the day his U.S. chart topping band was nominated for a prestigious ARIA award, he had to apply for a job at McDonald's to make ends meet. Oh well, maybe he'll have a hit with his new song "pink slime."

If you do make it in this indutry, you'll have to worry about keeping the money out of the hands of greedy embezzlers or worry about losing it all thanks to volatile band mates.

Rock stars are not known to lead the healthiest of lifestyles. There's a reason your mom doesn't want you to ditch school to go on tour with the band. The temptations of the dark side are everywhere for those lucky enough to snag just a bit of that guitar.

You may think you want what Nickelback sings about: "We all just wanna be big rockstars, living in top houses, driving fifteen cars."

The stone cold reality of the situation is you'll probably be driving those cars as a valet and playing jams after work for free trying to get exposure.

Okay so maybe there's a slight chance of you making a music video of your band, putting it on YouTube, and getting discovered like the Biebs or Carly Rae Jepson. It could happen. Unlikely, but still, you never know. Or maybe you'll win American Idol, or The Voice or some other big talent show contest for wannabe rock stars.

Say you're that one in a million, that diamond in the rough that makes it—then what?

You'll have to worry about surviving the rock star lifestyle without burning out or imploding. Drugs and alcohol are a problem that never grows old for rock stars.

How many of the rock icons past and present had to check themselves into rehab numerous times with several close calls before they realized they finally got the courage to quit cold turkey? Mick Jagger, Steve Tyler, Billy Joel, Ozzie Ozbourne, David Bowie, Eddie Money, Eddie Van Halen, Elton John, Eminem, Iggy Pop...the list goes on and on.

There's a reason old rock stars look the way they do—it's not exactly a lifestyle of good clean living. In fact, the lifespan of the average rock star is significantly shorter than, say, everyone else.

Some make it; but the Amy Winehouses, Jerry Garcias, Janis Joplins, and Jimmie Hendrixes of the world often don't.

If you are able to hit it big, hold onto your money despite ruthless managers, and avoid temptations from the dark side. You'll be spending your life on the road performing the same songs over and over again from venue to venue just to keep your career alive.

You think Mick isn't tired of singing "Satisfaction," or Springsteen's not tired of going down "the River?"

Meanwhile Keith Richards is just over there plucking away looking like he's been dead for the past thirty years. (Source)

You also couldn't have picked a worse time to get into the biz. Album sales are at an all-time low. Seriously, historically low. People are buying more tubes of hemorrhoid cream than they are CDs, and why shouldn't they? With all the free sites like Spotify, iTunes radio, Google Play, and other music streaming services, who listens to CDs anymore? Things are not like they were back in the '70s, '80s, or even the '90s in terms of album sales. The money to be made is in concerts, advertising, and corporate sponsorships.

And what about your personal life? Sure, there's a party nearly every night, but how are you supposed to have a serious relationship, or kids?

The party lifestyle wears thinner than an aging rocker's spandex pants. You may have a wall of gold records and fancy guitars to show for your success, but what's it matter if there's nobody to hold your hand (or push your wheelchair) out onto stage near the end of it.

But hey, so what—you're still a rockstar.

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